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Men's Ministry
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Connecting Men with God
CREATING A MALE CONTEXT IN THE LOCAL CHURCH
Thousands of men have been gathering in stadiums and arenas to praise Jesus Christ. Why has this been happening?We believe that these events provide
a "male friendly" environment (male context),
in which God's Spirit impacts the lives of men. However, this environment is not limited to large stadiums. An understanding of the following principles will help you implement this same male context with the men in your church.
SIX PRINCIPLES
OF THE MALE CONTEXT 1. Distance = Safety2.
Communicates Through Questions3. Goal or Challenge Oriented4. Focus on Logic or Emotions5.
Chooses Rules Over Relationships6. Hesitant to Express Emotion
There are several areas
related to men that you will want to be aware of. First, most men change within the context of relationships. In
other words, men will share their personal needs with a friend or family member whom they trust for advice. Second, applying the Six Principles Of The Male Context will help men
to overcome their isolation. Finally, these are general principles which represent a continuum. That means men are usually this way, but it also allows for individual
temperament and culture, and avoids stereotyping. The goal of understanding the
male context is to help your men's ministry to work with the way your men are, not against
them.
1. DISTANCE = SAFETY Principle: Men, in general, view personal distance as safety, and closeness or intimacy as a threat. Implications for your church: Men are used to being guarded and competitive in their relationships with other men, so coming together in the Church can be a difficult transition for them. Men in your
church will seldom be transparent in the larger church gatherings. Your men will be more likely to share in a men's small
group or on a one-to-one basis. They will need MEN'S SMALL GROUP LEADERS, that is, men in your church who have experienced the BENEFITS of healthy male relationships, in order to relinquish their personal distance.
2. COMMUNICATES THROUGH
QUESTIONS Principle: Men primarily communicate by asking a series of questions, in order to try to solve a problem or get to the "bottom line". Implications for your church: Men communicate their interest and attention
by asking questions. When communicating with the men in your church, OPEN-ENDED questions should be asked, which causes them to think through an issue and respond. The focus should be on listening to their responses.
3. GOAL OR CHALLENGE
ORIENTED Principle: Men view most situations as a challenge to be met or an obstacle
to be conquered. Implications for your church: Men enjoy meeting goals, because it gives them a sense of accomplishment. The
men in your church need to be CHALLENGED with clearly defined goals, that are big enough to stretch their faith, but are also something that they can achieve with God's help.
4. FOCUS ON LOGIC OR EMOTIONS Principle:
The majority of men have "tunnel vision." This means they manage one thing at a time, and tend to compartmentalize their lives.Implications for your
church: Men do one thing at a time in order
to reach their goals. So your men need to be given
ONE OR TWO specific action steps in relation to each goal they have received.
5. CHOOSES RULES OVER
RELATIONSHIPS Principle: Men usually want order in various situations, so they place an emphasis
on rules and principles. While this brings order, it also creates distance from others. Implications for your church: Men tend
to place higher value on rules and principles.
So the men's ministry activities in your church should be structured to include: a) ORDER (topic, time, place, format), as well as b) RELATIONSHIPS (personal sharing, prayer for individual needs, application of scripture).
6. HESITANT TO EXPRESS EMOTION Principle:
Most men do not easily express their emotions, unless they feel it is safe to do so. Implications for your church: Men limit how they express their emotions to what they think is acceptable for males. There are both internal and external
reasons why men are hesitant to share the way they
are feeling (cultural limitations, "distance = safety", etc.). The men in your church will seldom share how they
really feel unless there is a SAFE PLACE to express their emotions (i.e., a men's small group or a one-to-one basis).
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